These points are taken directly from the website below, but I expanded on them a bit to give you a better understanding from the point of view from an adult indigo.
Indigo's live strictly by the universal rule that you have to give respect in order to get respect. If you do not show respect to your indigo children, you can bet they will not show you respect no matter how much you punish them... in fact, punishing them for not showing you respect when you've disrespected them will make their behavior worse.
- Practice unconditional love for your child. Love them and show it, no matter what.
One of the most difficult things indigos have to face in life is not being accepted by their peers. Even though they may have friends, they know that their friends will never truly understand them, so they feel alone even in a crowded room. Most people will think they're weird, though, and they may have trouble fitting in. They need your love and support no matter what, and they need to know that regardless of what they may say or do, you will always give them the love and understanding they need.
Indigo's HATE being told what to do. If you tell your indigo children to do something, you will almost always be met with resistance. If you want your indigos to do something, your best bet would be to ask politely or give them a choice of what they can do (but even if you ask them to do something allow them to decide when it should be done).
- Give them freedom to develop, balanced with supervision and safety limits. Do set limits to protect them, but not arbitrary ones.
Indigo's need a lot of space. They don't like to feel as though they are being held back or smothered. Let your indigos explore life, but don't let them stray too far. If something your indigos are doing concerns you, the best thing you can do is share your feelings openly and honestly. If your children understand your concerns they may come up with a solution that will make everyone happy or decide not to do it at all. The worse thing for indigos is an overprotective parent. If you make too many absolute rules in order to protect your children, especially if those rules interfere with your children's fitting in or socializing with other kids, you can bet that those rules will always be broken.
- Tell reasons and explain why. Never say "Just because" or "Because I said so" and feel it is an adequate reason for an Indigo. It isn't.
This fits right in with the fact that indigos hate being told what to do, but they also hate being treated as though they lack intelligence. If you tell your indigos 'no', be prepared to give an honest reason for your answer.
- As much as is possible, let them help to create rules and fair and appropriate consequences for breaking them.
A lot of parenting books and magazines suggest this now for all kids, and it's an especially great idea for indigos. If your indigos help to create the rules and consequences, they will almost never break those rules. The only exception to this is if they feel it's morally necessary to do so, but then they will most likely tell you what they did and will be perfectly willing to accept the consequences of their actions.
- Give them complete explanations to the level they will be able understand.
Giving reasons doesn't guarantee that your children will not be upset over your choices or actions, but the more information you give them about what you're feeling the more respect they will have for your decisions.
Indigo's do not respond well to authority and they can't stand when people talk to them as if they were lowly or unintelligent.
- Be honest with your children. Tell the Truth. They will know if you are not.
You can NOT lie to indigos... they may play along with your lie, but they will never believe it. And lying is a surefire way to lose your children's trust and respect. And you know those little "white lies" that parents tell their kids to get them to be quiet or to behave? Don't do it... it won't work!
- Avoid giving orders; instead ask for their cooperation in accomplishing a goal (i.e. of getting ready to leave on time).
Indigo's love a good challenge and will certainly rise to the occasion. Try issuing challenges instead of orders and always be honest. If you are in a hurry tell them you need to be on time for something and explain the consequences you will have to face if you're late. If your children know that you will get in trouble for being late to work more than like they will try to help you to be on time.
- Don't try to manipulate them. It won't work.
Not only will it not work, but you will lose your children's trust and respect... and if you think it's hard to regain trust and respect from the average person, just try getting it back from an indigo.
- Don't use guilt, fear, or hate as a controlling tool.
This is a good way to make your indigos angry with you, and will also cause you to lose their trust and respect. It may also cause your children to shut down emotionally around you.
Part of the indigos' mission is to bring true justice to the world, so when they see injustice they are compelled to fix it. And I can't begin to tell you the pain indigos feel when the person causing the injustice is someone they love and trust.
- Be consistent. If you say ‘no', make sure you have a good reason and don't give in.
Believe it or not, this is another good way to lose your indigos' respect because if you don't stick to your own decision, how can they trust anything you say? And if you don't have a reason for your answer, why should they trust that you made the right one?
- Don't compare your childhood to theirs (when I was a kid we had to walk 10 miles to school uphill both ways..)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo.... this one is a doozie... it always elicited an "and I'm supposed to care why" response from me. Indigos know that everyone's life is different and you can't compare one person's experiences with another.
- Provide emotional support for them and their goals.
Indigos can actually see their goals and dreams almost as if they were a memory... something that has already happened. To be told it's not possible for them to accomplish almost seems like an oxymoron and creates a lot of anger.
If you don't listen to your indigo, how can you truly understand her or offer support and guidance?
- Respect their privacy and personal space.
Indigos need a lot of space.
- Teach your child to have respect for others regardless of their abilities and model this behavior.
The key phrase here is "model this behavior". All children will copy your behavior because this is how children learn, but an indigo will make a point to copy your behavior (especially when they know you are wrong) just to prove a point. Indigo's also have a tendency to be very short on patience, so they need extra guidance in learning to deal with people and accepting that everyone is different with different abilities.
- Admit when you make mistakes.
We should all do this anyway, but indigos become very resentful of people who try to hide their mistakes or put the blame on something or someone else. It's one of the quickest ways to lose the respect of an indigo.
- Don't do things for your children that they can do themselves. Empower them by letting them develop autonomy.
Most indigos are very independent and will often get angry if you try to do things for them. It's best to let them go (as long as it's safe to do so) and let them ask you for help if they need it. Just let them know you are available to them.
- Give them some responsibilities around the home and choices about which responsibilities they will have.
Indigos need to feel needed and wanted. They need to feel as though they are a part of something larger than themselves, but they also need a certain amount of independence.
- Notice good behavior and thank them for it.
If you have lost your indigos' trust and respect, this is a good way to earn it back.
- Use rewards at least as often as or more so than punishments. These help to get through frustrating times.
Actually it would be better to avoid punishments all together. Indigos don't generally respond well to them. It's better to teach indigos that there is a consequence to every action by using "punishments" that fit the "crime", and communicate to them what you are trying to teach them. And offer rewards to show them that good behaviors result in good consequences.
- Involve your children in your life. Don't shield them from it or they will know and will resent it.
Indigos know when there is something going on in your life. Although there are many things that are not appropriate to talk about with children, you should be as upfront about what's going on in your life as possible. You never know... they may even be able to help you feel better!
- Respect any psychic skills that they develop, even if you do not understand them. Provide appropriate training and support for any special talents they have - physical or metaphysical.
This is a hard one for many people to accept, and many indigos have had their psychic abilities squashed by parents who fear things of this nature. These children are here for a reason and these abilities are tools that they need in order to accomplish their mission in life. Don't take that away from them... you will be hurting them more deeply than you could possibly understand.
- Provide creative outlets for your children.
Indigos get bored very easily, which is why they tend to "act up" or misbehave a lot. They learn quickly so they need a lot of challenges and stimulation. They also need to be able to express themselves in different ways.
- Be open to Learning from them.
You will learn a lot!
- Example of an affective parental request of an Indigo Child:
"I need you to help me get to the doctor on time. We have to go in five minutes to make the appointment, so do everything you need to before we go, like go to the bathroom if you have to. Also, since grandma is coming later we need to pick up your toys either now or as soon as we get home. You decide which."
Learn more about Indigo Children and find out whether or not you may be and Adult Indigo at http://spiritualpathways.blogspot.com/!
Naya has been writing for a little over ten years. She has recently published her first two books. You can learn more about her at her website, Lionsong's Den, at http://lionsongsden.netfirms.com
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